I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
