OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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