Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
