so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
do herpes really smell.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
