I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
