so that wasnt chicken after all
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
