Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
