How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you had me at cake vodka
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
