Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
