I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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