but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
