They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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