GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize