At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
