The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize