He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
