Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
