the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
