she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
