He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
