Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize