I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
