Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
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