I feel like abortions should bother me more
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
