yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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