She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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