oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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