smell my finger.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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