Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
