I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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