There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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