I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
