I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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