don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize