one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
