Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
