you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
