I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
