hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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