The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
