Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
