Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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