I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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