He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize