I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
