Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
