if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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