What a fucking waste of an outfit
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
