i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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