Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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