I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
honey bunches of taint.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
