you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize