just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When are your genitals available?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
