And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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