Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
