nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
